RIP Pride Page
I finally got my new domain up and running... Kinda.
I gotta work out some kinks in the layout. Some of the links
are still dead, but I plan to have everything completed and uploaded
soon. Check the home page for more info.
This will be my last update to the Pride Page.
I plan to remove it as soon as I get finished with the new site.
check it out and let me know what you think.
Out At Work
I've been at my new job for about a week now and I'm
already stirring up trouble. There is this guy I work with,
Kenny, who keeps using the phrase "That is so gay."
He said it the other day in the break room when most of the
employees were there. In trying to cure him of this, I said to
him "You're always talking about everything being gay, I think
you're gay." A short discussion followed before we
changed the subject. It seemed to work cause he didn't use
that phrase again around me. By the way, at that time
everybody thought I was straight.
Anyways, last night after the store closed me,
Kenny, and two other employees, Billy and Brandon, were stocking a
section of the store. Somehow we got into the gay discussion
and Brandon asked me if I was gay. I tried to skirt the issue
with a joke but Brandon wanted a serious yes or no answer.
After several times of trying to turn the question into a joke I
finally answered with a yes. Brandon thought it was cool,
Billy didn't seem to be affected at all and Kenny freaked out.
I witnessed the three basic reactions to coming out all at
once. While Brandon went around the store telling all the
other employees Kenny ran to the back and turned psycho.
Kenny's typical homophobic reaction included threatening to beat me
up and telling me to stay the hell away from him. He seemed to
think I stared at him like I liked him. A couple employees
spent a while trying to calm him and convince him that I didn't want
to do horrible things to him. It was an interesting night.
Pride Page Go Bye Bye?
Last night I registered my own domain name. It
probably won't be up and running for about a month cause I got a
family web project that I gotta complete first. I'm trying to
decide if it will replace the Pride Page(this website) or not.
It's not gonna be a flaming gay site(like this is), or a acting
straight site(like my other
page) It's gonna be a site about the whole of me, not
sides that some people see. The Pride Page focuses on my
homosexuality. That is a big part of my life, but there is a
lot more to me than being gay. The new site will still depict
me as a gay male, but that won't be the main theme. It will
have pretty much all the content of this page and then some.
I'll post a rant when the new site is finished telling the fate of
the Pride Page.
For those who care: If you want to be notified when the new site is
ready send me an email with the subject "HidnRainbo's Pride Page - New Domain".
I'm not going to publish the domain name until the site is finished.
Web Site Negligence
Well it hasn't been neglected, I just haven't had
time to finish and upload my work. I'm taking Visual Basic III
and Web Programming II now. Between the two classes and my job I
barely have enough time for my site. I only have three more
weeks of classes and I plan to completely redo the site. I'm
gonna replace the buttons with text links and write some PHP pages
since the gaymemphis server supports it. I just uploaded the
new title image.
I like it a lot better than the old
I was gonna rant about something I read in the paper
today, but I opened up the web browser instead of the web page
editor. I followed link after link until I found out that
there are some things on the internet that are better left
undiscovered. It started out with a humorous series of
pictures showing a woman's car getting swallowed by a
sinkhole. Then it slipped into some images that I hope will
soon be forgotten. I would link to the web site I am referring
to, but I know the curious clicker would be cursing my name as he
woke from the nightmares. Fortunately I usually can't remember
my dreams shortly after I wake up.
Built by Rainbo
I finally did it. I went out and bought the
parts to build my own puter. Then I put the parts
together. And the shocker... IT WORKED!!! You wouldn't
believe how surprised I was. I was able to assemble and set up
a computer with only two problems, which I was able to fix on my
own. The feeling of accomplishment. I guess I must have
done good at paying attention when I was watching the pros.
Maybe it was jus pure luck. All I know is that I had a better experience
than my brother did when he built his puter (It's still not working
I jus keep waiting to come home one day and find
that someone broke in and stole it. It isn't really worth
stealing, but it would be my luck that someone else would think they
need it more than I do.
If you read my previous rants, you should know that
I canceled my AOL account a while ago. I had about five years
of old emails that I needed to go through before deleting
everything. I started off in march with over a thousand and I've
been working on it a little at a time over the months. Now
with the new puter I have to finish it up. Blah blah
blah... What I am saying is by going through these emails, I
have come across a lot of memories. Emails from friends that I
don't talk to anymore. Some from people that saw my web site
and I never replied to them. I miss a lot of those friends,
and it's pretty much my fault that we don't talk anymore. I
have this thing about pushing people away when they get too close to
me. Usually people do that to their significant other... I do
it to my good friends. I think another one of the problems was
when I stopped chatting on AIM. That was how I kept in touch
with almost everybody. I think I'll call up some old
friends. Or maybe they'll see this and call or email me.
BTW... If you email me and I don't reply, email me
again. Sometimes you have to be a lil persistent.
Umm... I'm GAY!!
Denial is an ugly thing. My mother has been
suffering from denial for a few years now. Even though my
brother told her three years ago when he found out and he constantly
makes comments and jokes about it in front of her, she still didn't
understand that her younger son (me) prefers boys instead of
girls. She keeps asking me when I am gonna get married and
give her another grandson (As if my nephew isn't enough to satisfy
her need to feel old).
This week she showed me how bad denial can be.
She told me that her boss's daughter wanted to hook me up with a
female friend. I didn't know how to react to that one.
Today I called my brother and asked him if he knew about it.
Naturally he found it amusing. He also called her and said,
"Mom, David is gay." Her response was, "He
never gave me any clues."
I guess introducing her to two of my boyfriends
wasn't a clue. Neither was my brother saying to me as he
talked to her on the phone, "David, your ex-boyfriend works
with mom now." I guess she never saw the rainbows on my
truck. My slightly feminine behavior didn't clue her in
Oh well, she knows now. I wonder if I'll ever
have to tell her again. She didn't discuss it with me, so I
have no idea how she is gonna handle it. I guess I'll find
The "good christians" across the street
struck a nerve with me today. I was already annoyed with them
because they have been using the vacant house next to mine as
dumping grounds for their yard waste. Today they got personal.
I'll start with the facts... This afternoon I turned
on the TV to see how the weather was looking near my mom's house and
the school. The weather channel wasn't working, and neither
were any of the other channels. I checked to see if road
runner was working, and it wasn't. I was a little slow, but I
figured out that A + B = no fucking cable.
So where does the neighbor come in? After
several calls to the cable company, I finally decided to check
things out myself. My dad told me that he saw somebody this
morning messing with the cable box at the street. I looked at
the cable box and realized the neighbor's cable was hooked up where
mine was supposed to be. Can you guess what I did next?
It's amazing... my cable is working again. (=P
I can see a bitter feud starting between me and my
"good christian" neighbor. Maybe not, but we'll see.
I Take Back All the Bad Things I Said About Him
I just got to check my grades for last semester, and
I was shocked. I figured I would get a D or an F in my
networking class since I didn't even turn in the term paper or final
exam paper. To my surprise, I got an A. I guess he gave
me credit for my effort. Maybe it was a mistake, but I'm not
saying anything. I now feel bad about all the things I said
about the teacher in previous rants. I have to say that he is
a really nice guy. Especially since he gave me an A when I
thought the best I deserved was a C. Sometimes life just
confuses the hell out of me. No complaints here though.
Slightly Over Cooked
I returned last night from a one week escape to the
beach in Gulf Shores with my mommy, brother, sister in-law and
nephew. It's not the most beautiful waters, but I didn't go
there to swim with the sharks. I went to play in the sand, get
a sun burn, and forget all about my Memfrica worries for eight
days. I am in pain from the sun burn and have no idea how much
money I have left. Since my truck is paid off I was able to
save up enough money to rent jet skis for me and my brother.
My sister rode with my brother for about thirty minutes, but she
didn't seem to enjoy it very much after the salt water and her
contacts started irritating her eye. We also went to see
dolphins and some other stuff.
Long story short... We all had fun. Pictures coming
soon for those who care.
Can I See Your License to Drink?
I was watching COPS the other day when they showed some
officers go into a bar and arrest two ladies. An officer said
that one of the women gets violent every time she gets drunk.
Apparently she is arrested quite often for this. This made me
remember of some people who always get into trouble when they
drink. I suddenly thought of a solution to alcohol abuse.
You guessed it, a state issued Drinking License. You must have
a license to drive, hunt and carry a handgun. Why not require
a special license to purchase and consume alcohol? Currently,
you only need an ID that shows you are old enough to buy
alcohol. The bartender has no way to tell that you have been
arrested several times for a DUI offense. The liquor store
clerk can't tell that you are physically abusive and prone to
violence. Many times they don't even care. That is why
they let people get too drunk. I believe that could all be
fixed with a Drinking License.
This is why you should be careful who you do
business with. Verisign
is just another "We don't care" business.
It is about time to register for classes again. As I
looked up the schedule for the summer semester, I realized that the two classes I want to take are held
on the same day and time. That jus fucking sucks.
UPDATE: The main class I wanted/needed to take has
been CANCELED! I guess that makes the decision pretty
easy. Fucking Shit!!!
Last night I had a dream that I was in a car accident and the person
in the other car was badly injured. I was trying to call 911 but I kept
hitting the wrong buttons on my phone. After a while someone started fighting
me for the phone but he couldn't dial the numbers any better than I could. I
think we had been drinking or something. The other guy probably bled to death
cause we never got to call anyone. It was kinda
weird. Are there any dream analyzers reading my web page?
Dead or A Lie Part 2
Let the truth be known
After a conversation last night in which someone's
supposed suicide was discussed and disputed, I finally decided
to find out the truth. I got the number to Shane's dad's
house. When I called and asked to speak to Jason, Shane's
youngest brother answered the phone and said, "Jason isn't here
right now." After I told him that I heard a rumor about
Jason's death, he reassured me that it was a lie.
I was actually starting to believe that it could be
true until last night. At one time I felt like an ass for what
I said in my previous rant on this subject, but now I feel like a
dumbass for not calling sooner. Every time I doubt my instincts
about someone, I always learn that the instincts were correct.
In this case, I said that only time will tell. It didn't take
much time to prove myself right on this one. I had already
decided not to give Shane any more chances because of something else
that happened last month. This just makes me not want to ever
say another polite word to him again.
Real World Classroom
I thought college classes were supposed to be
completely different from the real world? Everybody always describes
college like a lab's controlled environment. I , however, felt
like I was in a Dilbert cartoon today. We had another debate
in networking class. Like the first debate,
this one was unevenly divided with three of the four tech heads on
one side. Unlike the first debate, those three were on the
other side, and I was the only tech head on my side. I
represented my team on the first of the two essay questions we were
debating. It was an interesting discussion, which got even
more interesting when a member of my own team started arguing
with me. The whole night I kept having those thoughts
again. Anyways, the judges were indecisive about which team
should win. The teacher intervened by saying that it was a
good debate and neither side would have homework.
Even though things once again turned out ok for me
in the end, I am still pissed about the division of the
students. Once again I would like to express my opinion about
the teacher's intelligence (or lack thereof). I can't wait
till this class is over with.
Loosing or Lost?
Lately I have been viewing God and Jesus in the same light as Santa Claus
and the the Tooth Fairy. I wanted to tell of my thoughts on the subject,
but someone else has already done a good job explaining
a similar experience.
I am recently starting to accept the fact that
I no longer believe in The Almighty Fairytale. According to
the good Christian people, I am going to hell anyways, so why should
I worship something that will cast me into fire regardless of my
repentance. For those who disagree, don't bother preaching to
me. Just click on the image below and read on:
I never followed any religious
belief. I never really read the bible. It was just
another boring book to me. Also, it didn't have any
pictures. I like books with pictures. Anyways, I can't
even remember the last time I went to church (that's cause it is a
repressed memory though).
I just took my midterm in my networking class.
I kinda cheated, but I'm sure that I wasn't the only one. It
was a take home exam. Doesn't everybody cheat on take home
exams? It didn't help that I waited till the last minute to
start on it. I looked most of the questions up on three
different internet reference sites and combined the answers (Some
people would call that research). I was in such a hurry that I
didn't even check my answers to make sure they made sense. I
think I did alright though.
I'm wondering if the teacher will even figure it
out. As I have said in previous rants, I don't have much
confidence in his intelligence.
Can You Look Up Sarcasm In The Dictionary?
I just don't understand why people always take things so seriously. I just
read an entry in my guest book from
Saleem. He claims, "that heterosexual
questionaire is VERY RUDE AND OFFENSIVE." This guy
must have been so offended that he forgot how to type. The
computer he used was traced back to Durham
College and University Centre, Ontario, so I can only hope that
he is seeking to improve his grammar, among other things.
I find it very interesting that two homophobic
statements in my guest book originated from "higher learning
facilities" and are full of bad grammar and spelling
mistakes. I admit that I'm not perfect with my own grammar,
but at least I know how to use a spell checker.
Damn Liberal Bilge
I have a "Jesus Is A Liberal"
t-shirt, but I stopped wearing it because people were so offended by
the idea that they refused to see the reality of the
statement. It seemed that my intentions to provoke thought
were failing. I eventually got so upset that I had thoughts of
dressing like a prep and conforming to the masses. After
Sequitur in the Sunday comics, I got that "you are not
alone" feeling. It made me want to go out and educate
some people, in my own special way. Obviousman has rekindled
my will to provoke thought.
Dead or A Lie
I just found out from Marc that Shane K., a former
friend, is claiming that his teenage brother committed suicide
Saturday. I don't know if I should believe this or not because
Shane has told many creative lies in the past. He has even
lied about someone's death before. That is why he is no longer
considered my friend. The interesting thing is that he told
Marc that he found out Sunday afternoon, but Marc heard that he had
already told another
friend about it Saturday night. He told this person that he
found out Saturday afternoon. The funny thing is that Shane
was with us Saturday night and he said nothing about it. We
even talked about Shane's brother a little that night. Marc
and I have checked the paper to see if the death is listed and have
not found anything.
It would be slightly fucked up if this was another
lie considering our conversation Saturday night. I told Shane
that even though Marc has convinced me to give him another chance, I
still don't trust him. Shane told me that he made a lot of
mistakes in the past, but he has changed. My reply was that
only time will tell.
I will update this as soon as I find out the truth.
The truth is known...
How Many Times Do I Have To Say Cancel
I finally canceled AOL today, since the bill would
be due on the 5th. I had to convince the stupid bitch on the
phone that I truly did want to cancel. She kept trying to tell
me all the "wonderful" things about AOL that I could use
to improve the service. As she described how to do these
things, I realized that she probably (1)doesn't have AOL, (2)has
never seen AOL, and (3)doesn't even use the internet. I'm not
gonna go into great detail, but she clearly didn't know much about
what she was talking about. She had no clue what I was talking
about either. One of the reasons I gave her for canceling was
the incompetence of AOL's technical support. I almost told her
she was an idiot. The funniest thing was at the end of the
call when I asked her if she could verify the amount of my final
bill. She told me to "sign online and go to keyword:
Billing." I replied, "That would be kinda hard to do
since I'm canceling my account." She then tried to
convince me to reconsider canceling so I can do that. I was
about to scream. Now I understand how the customers felt when
I did tech support at Stream and I fed them with bullshit cause I
didn't exactly know what I was talking about.
Another Display of Intelligence
I had a pretty fun day in networking class. The teacher divided the class
and had us debate three of the short essay questions in our book. I have
to admit that it was an uneven debate since most of the tech heads were on
my side, but I didn't complain cause the winners were exempt from the
homework for tonight. It was also a somewhat idiotic concept since the answers
to the questions were based on facts instead of opinions. It is kinda hard
to debate facts. Still we managed to get the upper hand. We won the debate
by sending members of our team up who didn't know exactly what they were
talking about. They inadvertently confused the other team so much that they
couldn't come up with a decent counterpoint. I had to bite my tongue cause
I was tempted to debate with my own team. I also had to keep myself from
laughing when the other team said they agreed with the representative from our team.
Ok, so me and the guy next to me were laughing mischievously, but the other team
didn't figure it out.
Anyways... This experience has brought me to consider a new personal motto:
If all else fails, try to confuse the hell out of them.
Incentive For Vandalism
I went to the Memphis International Auto & Truck Show yesterday with marc. It
was kinda cool. I vandalized a car in front of a crowd of people and
nobody cared. In fact, I got rewarded for it.
The Saturn lady was doing a
demonstration on how durable the body panels are on their cars. She asked
for a volunteer to beat on the side with their fist. I never pass up an
opportunity to legally do something that I would normally get arrested for.
She wouldn't let me kick it though. (=P Marc had a camera but the
dumbass didn't take a picture cause he was too busy laughing.
The reward... a stupid toy car. I'm thinking about putting it through some
durability test to see if it holds up as well as the real thing.
I wanted to demonstrate to the spectators how easy
it is to pull the door panel off with a suction cup, like a
household plunger, but I didn't think the Saturn lady would like
that. I also wanted to try beating on some other cars to see
if anybody else would give me free shit, but the voices said it
wouldn't be a good idea. Sometimes I think the voices know
what they are talking about.
If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fuck With It!
To quote* my teacher in networking class today:
"You see that dialup adapter? This computer thinks it has a modem. I don't know why it thinks it has a modem. But that is bad. You don't want your computer to think it has a modem when it
doesn't. You should remove that. I've been around a long
time and I know that dialup adapter can cause some problems."
Experience has taught me that he is an idiot. I'm glad I already know better. I
remember when I worked at Stream International and somebody taught us the same
shit. After fucking up several client computers, I finally talked to someone who
knew what he was talking about. Too bad I can't afford a real education.
* That isn't exactly word for word
what he said, but it is very close. His actual statement
consisted of the same thing being reworded and repeated over and
over for about five minutes. But he kept saying that the
dialup adapter is a modem.
It seems that ever since the whole Napster ordeal,
there is a story on the news at least every couple of months about a
file sharing program or some other service that "children can
use to find porn." Don't worry that these programs and
services can be used legitimately. We should all ignore the
fact that newsgroups have offered the same shit for several
years. Totally ignore the fact that a responsible parent would
learn how to make sure their child's internet experience is
to their satisfaction. Instead, lets boycott, sue and outlaw
anything our internet monitoring software can't block. Parents
shouldn't have to monitor their child's internet activity.
They don't need to study if that program their kid uses all the time
could possibly be used as a tool for masturbation. The
evil programs should be well censored or removed from the internet.
These stupid people need to deal with some fucking reality!!!
I would like to know whyI don't see the same
attention being given to the real problems, like security
issues. These programs can sometimes share
your personal files without your knowledge. Strangers on
the internet can find out your address, read your saved email, even
steal usernames and passwords. With this information they
could gain access to your credit card numbers, learn the best time
to rob your house, or find out about your company's secret business
plans. There are also the programs that track
your surfing habits.
The media makes it seem like minors having sex and
masturbating is almost as bad as murder, but stalking and stealing
credit card numbers is just an unpopular hobby.
The Latest Advertisement Annoyance
In their quest to make their ads more
visible/annoying, web marketing assholes have discovered a new and
part or all of a web page with an advertisement that might go
away after a few seconds. Did I say that it is ANNOYING?
I just want to make sure that I make my feelings abundantly clear on
this issue. I will no longer use Yahoo's search engine and
plan to cancel my email account if they use that shit in the mail service (I
never use that account anyways). Of course, I made sure to
fill out their survey and tell them how much I loved their new
My Thoughts As I Sit In Networking Class
You Can Beat em but You Can't Fuck em
When was the last time you heard about somebody
knocking on doors in his/her neighborhood because the court said
he/she had to tell all the neighbors about a conviction for
assault? Have you ever seen a web site listing men and women
who have been charged with beating their spouse and/or
children? No, but you can sure find if they like to fuck
em. I read an article in the newspaper Tuesday about the court
tightening rules to confine sex offenders. Apparently, if
they can prove that an inmate has a mental disorder and a
"serious difficulty" in controlling their behavior, they
can continue to keep them locked up even after they have served
their prison time. I don't see much of a problem with that
idea, but I'd like to know why they don't use this approach towards
violent criminals. A friend of mine beat the hell out of a guy
so bad that he went to the hospital in a coma. My friend got
six months of probation for that. If you rape someone or have
sex with a child, you can spend the rest of your life locked
up. I'd like to know why a guy in my neighborhood spent six
months in the county lockup for armed robbery, but a guy who has consensual
sex with a thirteen year old gets six years to life. Is it that
much worse if your victim enjoys the crime? Rape is bad, but
so is robbery and assault. Why don't other crimes get the same
No Network in Networking Class
I had a good laugh Tuesday. It was the first
day of my Concepts of Communication and Networking class. It's
kinda funny when you take a class that is supposed to teach you
about networking and their network is down. And the fact that
the teacher had "no clue" what could be wrong kinda
worried me. I know exactly what the problem is. They use
a program called Clean Slate. What it is supposed to do is
keep idiots from screwing up the computers by installing or deleting
things they shouldn't. It's a pretty good program, but there
is one problem. The people who installed Clean Slate are
idiots. You have to make sure a computer is working before you
install a program to make it keep working. It's kinda like
putting an alarm system on a car when you don't even know if the car
starts, and never testing the alarm to see if it works. All I
have to say is... that's what happens when you don't pay your
AOL Go Bye Bye
I read in the paper today that AOL is increasing their
prices for the BYOA plan... the plan that I have. Nobody
emails me on my AOL account and I never chat anymore, so I'm using
this as my excuse to cancel my account. Of course I was
planning on canceling anyways. The only reason I've kept it
the past few months is to make sure there isn't anybody I forgot to
tell my new e-mail address. I'm tired of all the junk mail and
advertisements and shit so I guess I'll kill the account this month
or next month. I'll still have AIM so you might see me online
one day after hell freezes over. Most likely not.
I got more stuff I wanna bitch about but marc wants
me to meet him for dinner. I'll have a good bitch session
later tonight or tomorrow.
Satan Hath Consumed My Soul
Something is wrong with me... seriously wrong.
I attended the family x-mas party at my Southern Baptist
grandparents house over the weekend. As my grandfather was
saying the blessing I felt this overwhelming urge to scream,
"NOOO!! They're all gonna laugh at you." As I contemplated
saying it, an evil sadistic grin came across my face. Luckily
Christians believe you should look down and close your eyes (or bow
your head) during the blessing of the food.
It's been a while since I've heard that Adam Sandler
tape, so I have no idea where this thought came from. I had
the same urge two months ago at the family thanksgiving
gathering. I'm starting to think I need to seek psychological
help. Do other people have this problem or is it just me?
PS Before you say it... I haven't done drugs in quite a long while.
In Protest of Linking Policies
Apparently a lot of companies don't like the popularity
their web sites receive. Many of them post bullshit
disclaimers prohibiting anyone from linking to their site
without their explicit permission. They cite such things as
copyright and trademark laws. This is basically saying that I
can't talk about
someone over the internet without their permission. (What would
happen to gossip if that were a law??)
I respond to this in the simplest, yet most powerful
form I can think of... FREEDOM
OF FUCKING SPEECH!!! I love taking advantage of what
people have fought
over for centuries. If I link to a page
on someone's web site for the purpose of referencing,
I am only practicing what I was taught in school. Unless the
public education system improperly taught me how to avoid plagiarism,
it does not matter if the link is to a page, image or sound file, as
long as I make it understandable that the content was created by them.
Copyright and trademark laws were created to keep
people from stealing someone else's shit, claiming it for their own,
and making profit from it. I hardly consider linking to be
claiming something for your own.
The Truth - The real reason is usually one of the following:
The company is pissed about the context in which
their name is used or the content of the referring site.
Usually negative opinions are targeted. You can usually
say all the happy lovely things you want without getting any
attention. Likewise, if a church finds out that a porno
ring is linking to them, they might not be too happy.
The company is pissed cause they have a million
ad banners on their home page that make them money if someone
clicks it. They think that when you link to a page other
than their home page they are losing money.
The Solution - Fuck'em
(or Fuck with 'em)
If you see a web site disclaimer that says something
along the lines of "The following web
link activities are explicitly prohibited..." or "Explicit
permission is required to use our logo," consider making a link
to them out of protest. C.Y.O.A... Check first to see if
there are any laws prohibiting it which could affect you. I
don't encourage people to push the limits of (or break) the law
unless they are aware of the consequences.
I've gone almost five months without a computer and
my web site shows it. Of course, I've also been concentrating a
lot on college. But now that I got a puter again, I plan to do
some work on the site. This is the only place that I can
express myself lately. I've been getting depressed again cause
I don't have much of anybody to talk to. To make things worse,
the only one of my friends who cares to talk about things is no
longer allowed to talk to "the devil" who claims to be his
friend. That is covered in the next rant. Another
thing that's got me depressed is that I don't hangout and party like
I used to. All the people who used to throw parties either
moved away, got arrested, or just don't talk to me much
anymore. The people I hang out with now can't seem to think of
anything to do other than watch a movie or go clubbin. Clubbin
can be fun, but I got tired of Backstreet a long time ago.
There's no place else in Memphis where I want to go clubbin since
Amnesia closed, and nobody wants to take a road trip anymore.
I'm really thinking about moving... I am so tired of Memphis and all
the bullshit I deal with here.
Coming Out Tragedy
I always tell people that they shouldn't come out of
the closet until everybody is ready. You should make sure that
the person you are going to tell is ready to hear it, and you should
make sure you are ready to deal with any response they might
have. I also express my belief that anyone who still lives
with (or depends on) their parents, especially minors, should
consider waiting until they are supporting themselves.
I guess sometimes you reach that point where you jus
can't hold it in any longer. Andy recently reached that
point. His parents had confronted him several times and he
denied being gay. But on October 17, momma noticed his tongue
ring. Apparently the black community believes that only gay
people have tongue rings. This was a new stereotype for me
cause I thought it was a Generation X thing. Like they say,
you learn something new everyday. Anyways, Andy is no longer
allowed to talk to any of his gay friends and almost all his friends
are gay. He has been told that we brainwashed him and we are
not really his friends. We are really the devil in
disguise. I don't think this was the first time I have been
called the devil, but I have never been accused of brainwashing
anyone before. His parents are refusing to speak with anyone
from MAGY or PFLAG. They are only interested in converting him
to be str8. I don't know what's going on with him right
now. He snuck the phone long enough to call me a few times,
but I haven't heard from him in over a week now. I'm hoping
that they make it through this alright.
I think this story might scare a few people... and
I hope it does. It's all good to come out to the family, but
sometimes you should jus bite your tongue until you are able to get
away if they go psycho on you.
I'm An Uncle Now
I'm an uncle now. At 12:01am Thursday, June
14, 2001, Andrew Shaw popped out and got his first peek at the
world. I don't think he liked it very much cause he started
crying. Then my brother started crying too. Seeing my
brother cry was like one of those big "Awwwww" moments.
I got home from the hospital about an hour ago and
I'm still kinda excited. I don't know what happened to me.
A few weeks ago I was like "oh wow...how nice...I'm gonna
be an uncle...big deal." But when I got the call
from my brother saying, "We're on the way to the hospital.
Coley is having the baby." It was like someone
slapped me upside the head and screamed, "You're an uncle
now!" I was so excited that I almost skipped class to go
to the hospital. But I'm glad I didn't cause I wouldn't be
patient enough to wait the 6 hours that they had to wait. I
almost died after spending two and a half hours in the waiting room.
Anyways.....I jus wanted to tell everyone that I'm an uncle.
Its All a Big Conspiracy Against Daddy.....
or he smoked some bad crack as a kid
Providing me with my morning laugh, my dad answers the phone.
The person on the other end simply says, "Who is this?" Psycho
dad responds with a not so polite, "Well who is this?
Who are you calling?" The caller realized her fingers didn't push the
buttons she intended and said, "I dialed the wrong number."
Normal people will leave it at that....maybe say something like "stupid bitch."
Not my dad. Nope. He immediately assumes it is somebody who knows him
and is trying to get information on him.
He tried to look the number up in his phone book and match it with a name.
And I used to think I was weird. At least I can blame it on the drugs I did in
high school. I guess his excuse is being used as a lab rat by the military in Viet Nam.
Another triumph for the religious right. I heard the rumors but thought it was the
usual bullshit. People have been spreading rumors about them closing down since they opened.
But this time it was different. My boyfriend ran across the company name in a court docket.
They have been evicted. Last night I received confirmation from an employee....Amnesia is closed.
Now I find myself thinking about going thru the shame of trying to see if I can get back into Backstreet.
I've pissed off Anthony (bouncer) and Shane (owner) to the point that I think they banned me for good.
I'm not really sure.....I was kinda drunk when I was cussing them out and they showed me
and my boyfriend to the door.
Censorship of Idiots
I've always wondered why people think they can use profanity online, and it is OK just because they replaced one letter with a star symbol.
That is a bunch of fu*king bullsh*t. If you are going to bi*ch and fuss you should at least spell out the whole fu*king word.
Do you think it makes a fu*king difference? Like those as*holes who are offended by profanity wont be able to tell what the fu*king word is.
Gimme a fu*king break.
Anyways, what ever happened to freedom of expression.
I express myself through profanity sometimes (well more often than a preacher would), and I would like people to pay attention to the emotions I am
expressing. Instead they say something like, "Ohhhh! You said a dirty word."
"You stupid bitch!!! Somebody just knocked me upside the head and I'm bleeding."
"And you will sit there and bleed until you clean up your mouth."
I have a solution to population control. Yep, that's
it, legalize drugs. Turn all the Rehab clinics into distribution centers.
Let people decide for themselves if something is bad for their body.
Why does the government think they have to do all our thinking for us.
When you heard that drinking bleach can kill you, did you go to the laundry room and grab a cup?
No! But when you heard sniffing aerosol fumes was illegal, you ran to get a paint can and a paper
bag. Many people do things just because they are illegal.
And it doesn't help that the media tells people how to do the drugs and where to find them.
If someone wants to overdose...let them. If it doesn't work, feed them that last dose to push them towards the light.
Don't get me wrong...I've had my experiments
(addictions) with a few drugs, but I never ended up in the hospital or rehab over it.
Alcohol is what caused me to wake up in the hospital hopping that I
didn't tell my brother's friends about my sexual fantasy about being their whore for the night.
Even more worried about if I was their whore for the night.
It was a while after I blacked out before they got me to the hospital.
For the people who don't know me...I was jus kidding about the sexual fantasy part.
My brothers friends are anything but attractive. Too much testosterone
for this little fairy.
As if I'm not already begging for another visit from the FBI.
I heard that the secret service will show up at your door if you talk about killing the president.
I want to kill President George Washington. Oh wait, he's already dead.
I wonder if you can get in trouble for threatening to kill somebody who is already dead??
Does The Phrase "You're An Idiot" Mean Anything To You?
Did you ever feel like you wasted your money on
something? How about a college course? I sometimes
wonder if my Intro to Windows teacher even uses Windows. You
can kinda tell that a teacher doesn't know much about the class
when they teach straight out of the book. He basically reads
us a summary of each chapter. I think he should try taking
the class himself. I'm sure he is great at his other
job(working on Linux servers or something), but he doesn't seem to
know enough about Microsoft to do much more than turn the computer
on and check his email. I gotta give him some credit on his
ability to cover up for when the students call him out on his
mistakes. He pulls some bullshit excuse out of his ass like,
"Actually I was trying to do something else." One
day I'm gonna call him out and ask what he was trying to do.
This happened all thru high school, so why am I
so pissed off now? Most teachers will give you credit when
you missed a test question because he/she worded it wrong.
Not him! He says he will make a note of it, and change it
next semester. It's nice to know the next class will be able
to understand the question better, but that doesn't do anything
for me. The words little and some pretty much mean the same
thing. Don't they? Not to him! The other student
that was complaining about that question said "I'm not gonna
argue the definition of the words." "I AM
DAMNIT!!! Those questions that I "misunderstood"
were the difference between an 89 and an 97. In high school,
the only class I ever made straight A's in was shop class. I
even failed computer class. Of course, that's cause I was
always being mischievous with the network instead of doing my
homework, but that's a different story. I want the grade I
I Give Up
I've been trying my hardest to make it in this
homophobic redneck tool store that I work at. I've ignored
harassment when I would normally have quit. But I can't take
it anymore. I finally gave up and quit. I'm sure
almost everybody there is happy now that the fag is gone.
So, once again I am looking for a job. Anyone know of a
decent paying job where I don't have to worry about getting discriminated
against because I don't act and look straight?
Is This Jus a Coincidence?
I was working the the register today, as
usual, and a customer came up to pay. Everything seemed
normal until he handed me the cash. The five dollar bill he
handed me had a triangle and the words GAY MONEY stamped on
it. I've seen the stamp before in a catalog, but this was my
first time to see it on money. I almost busted out laughing
right in front the guy. I don't know why it was so
funny. I guess it was the thought, "of all the
people...." Another funny thing is that the guy didn't
seem gay and I was wondering if he even noticed it.
Turn Up Your Beltone
I'm probably gonna sound like an insensitive
prick by saying this, but isn't that the point of this page....to
be selfish and insensitive while bitching about whatever is
bothering me. Anyways, sometimes when I talk to customers
they put their hand up to their ear and say,
"What?" I don't mind repeating myself because
often I speak too fast or fail to annunciate my words while at
work. But, usually after I say it the third time or somebody
else repeats it for me, I realize that the person is wearing a
hearing aid. I thought the purpose of a hearing aid was to
keep people from having to scream at you. Do these people
not realize that the expensive piece of plastic in their ear is
not working adequately? It just makes me want to scream,
"Turn up your Beltone!"
Who Is Giving Out My Number??
As all my friends know, if someone calls my cell
phone from a number that I don't recognize, I usually don't
answer. I have received several calls today and
yesterday from numbers I don't know. When I checked my voice
mail to see who it was, I heard messages from weird people asking
to speak to someone else. I've had the same number for about
three years....I wish that moron would figure out that is not his
Experiences At McDonalds
I went to McDonalds yesterday with a friend and
forgot about the shirt I was wearing. I had on
t-shirt. The girl behind the counter started to read it,
"Because gay men and lesbians are...." Before she said
another word everybody turned their head and looked at me. My
first thought was to make a mad dash for the door, but I stood
there to see the reactions. Then the employee taking our order
said, "Are ya'll gay?" Before I could turn and run, my
friend announced that he is bisexual. I guess the thought that he
still sleeps with girls was comforting enough to keep them from
freaking out. The cashier must have thought homosexuality is
contagious because he told my friend to "jus lay the money on the
counter" and don't touch him. The most amusing thing was when we
were leaving and the cashier told me that he did me a favor by
adding extra toppings to my McFlurry and winked at me. I don't
think I'll be going back to that McDonalds anytime soon.
Is It Really Any of Your Business?
After a long night of drinking and parting, I go
home and try to get some sleep. I slept pretty well until my
ex-boyfriend calls me. He didn't have to say a word before I knew
what he was calling about. He wants to know about this guy I've
been seen with lately. Every time he hears a rumor about me he
calls me to talk to me about some shit that I know he doesn't care
about, then after a few minutes he slips in the question, "I
heard....(some rumor)....Is it true?" This time I cut him off
before he could ask me. I told him that I was really tired and
would call him back later. Then I rolled over and cuddled up with
my man and went back to sleep. I think I was kinda rude to him,
but is it really any of his business? Anyways, I guess he
will find out if he reads this page....(=P