I lie in bed sometimes and wonder if people will ever think about me and say "I saw the signs, but I didn't do any thing." I wonder if they will ever say "I could have helped him." I wonder how long it will take them to forget about me. Then I wonder if they will even notice. If they don't care about me now, why would they care about me then? It's not like I hide the signs. I fucking cry for help, but nobody is listening. I hang on because I know that somebody cares and I don't want to hurt them. I keep hoping that things will get better one day. But even when things get better, something is still wrong. Why is my happiness so short lived? I just need one thing to make me happy. The one thing that I can not find.