How to make sure you don't have to buy x-mas presents next year

Every year it's the same old thing, people go out and buy presents for you for x-mas. Most of the time it ends up being something that you really don't care for. Then you have to go out and buy them something that they probably won't care for or you might feel guilty. Even if you don't feel guilty, people will think you are inconsiderate or poor or something because you didn't follow their tradition of returning a gift with a gift.

Are you tired of having to go buy gifts for people every x-mas jus because they bought something for you? Everybody says it's the thought that counts, but we all know that's bullshit. If you used your slightly creative skills to make something by hand, they would want to tell you to take your ass to the mall and buy something decent. This year we're gonna ride on that "It's the thought that counts" bullshit.

Here is what you do... Get a walnut. Put it loosely in a box. Any size box will do. Wrap it up with something like an old tye dye shirt or some other strong, decorative fabric. Be sure to use an extreme amount of tape. Use clear packing tape if you can. You can also use super glue or epoxy if you really want to have fun. To finish it off, take a string or rope and tie a bow.

If they make any comments, be sure to smile real big and say, "But it's the thought that counts."

Other not so original ideas:

• Give a decapitated stuffed animal to someone you aren't too fond of. Try and put fake (or real) bloodstains where the head used to be.
• Give them back the gift they gave you last year.
• Give them back the gift they just gave you. Say you didn't have time to wrap it.
• Give them a gift that someone else gave to you. This is especially effective if the person that gave the gift to you is there. Two birds, one stone.
• Ask for the receipt when they give you a gift. If they give it to you before you can ask, say something like, "I'm really glad you included the receipt."
• Give them something you don't want anymore. If they seem to like it say, "I'm glad you like it. I was about to throw the piece of shit away until I thought of you."
• Go x-mas shopping at garage sales and thrift shops. Be sure to buy stuff that is visibly used.
• Give them a toy from a kids meal or happy meal (unless they like that kinda stuff)

Give them a cracked CD case with a game or a CD. (A crap and cheap one). Laugh when you give it to them. It works especially well if the person doesn't have something to play it on. I once got a really cheap, crapped up PS1 game. - Submitted by: Sam

Cut up a frog, and stick it in some mangy old crisp bag. Let it dry, and then give it to the person, after you tape the bag up. Say "HAR HAR" SORRY> MY CAPS LOCK BUSTED UP> - Submitted by: SAM

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